You read that right.
"But Bitter KK, you're not a baseball fan and you notoriously despise the Indians! What gives?"
First of all, you are a very astute observer. Give yourself a cookie.
Now, keep reading. And stop rewarding yourself with food.
It seems the sale of the Browns has Indians fans more frenzied than ever about running the Dolans out of town and refusing to accept the perpetual also-ran status they have promoted for as long as they've owned the team.
As I watch my Twitter feed light up with dia-"Tribes" (YAY PUNS!) against the Indians' ownership, I feel like I have a front row seat for the eventual overthrow of this prevailing loser mentality by the Indians' loyal fans. So let me grab some popcorn because I'm going to kick back, enjoy the show and see how this plays out. I am giddy with anticipation.
I guess if I lived in 18th Century France, I would have been one of the people storming the Bastille...or at least sitting on the sidelines, shoveling popcorn into my mouth and cheering on the Bastille stormers (possibly with half-chewed pieces of popcorn spewing forth, but we won't worry about that. Or whether popcorn was even around then. I mean, I have no idea when Orville Redenbacher was born, but I can assume he was alive during the French Revolution, and was French. Yep. French.)
I believe that this massive groundswell against the Dolans has been brewing ever since the Sabathia trade and was further fueled by dealing Cliff Lee. Seriously, WHO TRADES TWO CY YOUNG WINNERS IN A ROW AND EXPECTS TO HAVE A WINNING FRANCHISE? I think that's when the realization began to hit Indians fans that the winning teams of the 90's are long gone and there won't be another at the Jake (once the Jake, always the Jake) until those who hold all the power have a desire to WIN. These clowns have been content for years with the status quo and have shown absolutely no initiative to bring a pennant to town. In fact, it seems every action taken has been specifically made to guard against success and to further the team's mediocrity. Any small step in the right direction has been met with ten dumb ones. Remember the #RollTribe days? They seem so long ago.
Sure, owning a sports franchise is a big business. Jimmy Haslam didn't pay a billion bucks to buy the Browns so he could eat egg salad sandwiches every day with Pat Shurmur (or maybe he did, but that would be weird). Of course, he wants the franchise to make money. But he also seems to be taking into consideration the extended history of the team and mainly, how badly we want TO WIN SOMETHING ALREADY. And by that, I mean we would theoretically accept a stuffed white tiger dressed like a police officer (mirrored aviator shades included!) from the prize shop at Dave & Buster's. Maybe it's not a Super Bowl championship, but we could really show off our superior skee ball skills in front of our peers. And sometimes that's all that matters.
The Dolans seem to have lost sight of the fact that a big part of their reason for being here is to serve the fans. Because without fans, there would be no team for them to own. And the fans here want a contender.
I'm as detached about the Indians as a Clevelander can be, but the natives here are more restless than I've ever heard them. The clarion call for King Larry to sell the team - soon - and get outta Dodge is unmistakable.
Maybe it's time for a few proverbial heads to roll.
Chop, chop, Dolans.
(I love puns AND double entendres!)
Kristen Kaleal is the founder of Bitter Orange & Brown and is thrilled that for once, she was able to use her art history degree for good, and not for evil. Even though evil art history is way more fun.