BITTER ORANGE & BROWN

Yes Betty, you can dream

2012-02-05T23:10:00.000-05:00

We're dreaming too, as we wait for next year.

Top 7 Reasons Why You Should Invite a Browns Chic to your Super Bowl Party

2012-02-03T11:18:00.000-05:00

7. We stay fairly attentive through the game, because we wonder what a Super Bowl is like. In fact, many of us are learning the compound words “post-season” for the first time. 6. We’re like your grandpa. We will enthrall you with “remember when Bill Belichick used to be our coach” stories. And then we will regale you with a trivia game called “how many former Browns players and coaches have

Let's laugh at the Browns!

2012-01-17T18:11:00.009-05:00

Joe thinks these are HILARIOUS. Just in case your old Browns jokes have become stale and overused, here are a few new ones to tide you over. Thanks to my Uncle Al for forwarding these. I have no idea where they originated or who wrote them, but I would like to shake that person's hand. They're pretty stupid, but they made me laugh. NEW Ohio Law: Beware! From a Cleveland Cabbie… The

Dear Bud Light: Thanks for the Accurate Fan Portrayal

2011-12-04T19:01:00.001-05:00

Watch the Browns fans in this Bud Light "Dear Football/Love Is" commercial. Notice their reactions. Does that look familiar? Every single Sunday? Today? Yep. I thought so.

The Secret Santa Who Never Gave Up

2011-11-29T16:32:00.000-05:00

My dad used to have this habit of putting presents under the Christmas tree to us from a supposed Cleveland Browns player. One year, when I didn’t like the Cleveland Browns quarterback Vinny Testaverde very much, I opened up a present that read To: Kristi, From: Vinny, with the notation to “Please like me?” Through the years, as Dad chuckled in the background, I was the recipient of bright

Think About It, Browns...What Would Brian Boitano Do?

2011-11-27T02:18:00.001-05:00

If you read my previous post, you know there are four men ready and able to take over for the Browns, even if they still have their skates on.This lead to a whole series of thoughts, including the "What Would Brian Boitano Do?" song from Southpark running constantly in my mind. And when both Brian and the Browns are running around in my head (Actually Brian is skating, the Browns aren't doing

Meet The Browns Replacement Team!

2011-11-23T15:30:00.010-05:00

I know we're coming off a Browns win...but it was really ugly, so they definitely still need a lot of help.I have just the right men for the job:Pay close attention. These men are world class figure skating champions, ready for action on the field- um, ice. Yes, they are skating in these uniforms, pads and all. Brian Boitano, 1988 Olympic Gold Medalist, hosts his Skating Spectacular every year,

Hats off to you, Browns!

2011-11-21T11:01:00.168-05:00

But you keep yours on, Pat Shurmur Silly Browns! You had us thinking another loss was in the cards yesterday. But you pulled out a very weird win over the Jaguars, which, if you're keeping track out there, is technically better than a weird loss but not as good as actually playing and/or coaching great football, which you are technically being paid to do. To my knowledge, this is the first time

An Official Letter from the Cleveland Browns

2011-11-17T09:09:00.001-05:00

Imagine our surprise at Bitter HQ when we received a basket of moldy fruit and this letter from the Browns...

2011-11-15T14:12:00.002-05:00

#OccupyBerea

2011-11-14T09:44:00.030-05:00

So. I've heard that the Cleveland Browns aren't too good at this whole "football" thing.We hear it from everyone - the media, the interwebz, the annoying guy in the next cubicle who thinks the whole thing is a grand conspiracy against Cleveland masterminded by the Obama administration. The truth is - we absolutely suck. But we as fans have not a single ounce of power to turn around the

Browns frustration: Graphically portrayed

2011-11-07T10:23:00.007-05:00

It was in the wee hours of November 1st when my aggravation about the team came to a head and I angrily let loose on the Browns with reckless abandon. Unfortunately, I did this via text to the friend who told me how to unlock the emoji emoticon keyboard on the iPhone 4S and probably regrets that now. As you can see, my pent-up aggression really boils over when I suggest throwing snakes at the

Meet the newest star of CL-E!-ality TV

2011-11-04T21:58:00.011-04:00

Recently, Peyton Hillis has been through... a product launch, a wedding, personal and professional drama, public ill will, controversy, and glaringly bad media attention. Remind you of anyone else???? (HINT: The chick on the left if you live under a rock.) "If you put us all together, you get Cousin Itt." I think he may be the fourth Kardashian sister. SOOOO..... without further ado

It's The Great Pumpkin, Cleveland Browns (Complete With Costumes!)

2011-10-30T17:23:00.040-04:00

Trick or treat?Wait a minute...is that a trick question???It was really cute how the Browns dressed up as football players today to celebrate Halloween. (Well, all except for Hillis...whose agent and new wifey didn't want him to get hurt. Party poopers!) They almost had me fooled - until the game started.Colt McCoy took the field and proved that he is suffering from PD - Projectile Dysfunction.

'Stache Infection

2011-10-30T15:44:00.010-04:00

ALL HAIL THE MIGHTY MUSTACHE! (Not that there's anything wrong with it.) Confidential to the Browns' D:Don't make these posts so easy for me. I like a challenge. Make me work for it. Don't throw material squarely in my lap. It breeds complacency. This past week, Browns' offensive tackle Tony Pashos tweeted this picture, stating that members of the defense had grown "Strictly Ballroom

A Bitter Cheesehead Halloween

2011-10-30T14:00:00.074-04:00

The inspiration for this year's Halloween costume came during Week 5, when I watched the Green Bay Packers beat the Atlanta Falcons. Before a commercial break the camera panned to a fan in the same pose as the dude in the middle in the photo below, except he wore a jersey. I thought, I could be a Cheesehead, and my Bitter Cheesehead Halloween costume was born. I set to work collecting the

Horizontal stripes aren't flattering, Dr. Dre

2011-10-28T17:42:00.003-04:00

Today I realized the top I'm wearing in my current Facebook profile pic looks oddly familiar. I made fun of early 90's era Dr. Dre for his outfit in my recent post Straight Outta Oakland, but I realized here that all I really need is a Raiders baseball cap and scary "I'm gonna shoot you or at least rap at you violently" scowl and I would have instant West Coast gangsta rapper street cred - just

Boogie Mikes

2011-10-27T12:22:00.007-04:00

Question: Where is the last place on earth you would ever expect to see Mike Holmgren? If you said in a donut shop, you would be sadly mistaken. Clearly, I said the LAST place on earth.BUT If you said in a donut shop in an Oscar-nominated movie about the porn industry, you would be RIGHT and you get an A++ in where you would never expect to see Mike Holmgren. Wednesday night's insomnia

Any Orange & Brown Will Do

2011-10-23T12:00:00.007-04:00

The Browns loss to the Raiders last Sunday, a study in embarrassment, added to the bitter black cloud that surrounds our team this season (it may be a perpetual cloud, but this season it seems extra thick). You thought three high ankle sprains last season were bad? How about: Peyton Hillis drama (please don't get me started on Madden, which may be coming later if it has to) Marcus Benard's

There's an app for Pat

2011-10-22T19:09:00.010-04:00

It started innocently enough. I've been waiting patiently for my iPhone 4S to ship. I've been iPhone-less for four weeks since my old one died a quick but sad death. I have a crappy interim phone. My brain is ready to explode. Then my former paramour and (past and) current evil nemesis, the Cleveland Browns, lost their last two games quite egregiously. Utterly disgusted, this was my

It's Hammer Time, PsychiKK! But you already knew that...

2011-10-21T13:42:00.006-04:00

I used to write the silliest, most ridiculous stuff on this blog. It became my never-fail cure for writer's block. I would let my imagination would run wild like the animals in Zanesville - at the Browns' expense, of course - and concepts like Bernie Kosar living in a giant picnic basket would somehow seem normal and even expected if you are a regular reader of my posts. I still write those

Our Favorite Body Part - LOL

2011-10-17T12:03:00.001-04:00

Straight Outta Oakland (OR - Please Dre, Don't Hurt Me)

2011-10-16T11:07:00.032-04:00

The 2-2 post-bye week Browns are in Oakland today to face the 3-2 Raiders! I had to double check that they are indeed still in Oakland and did not sneak back to L.A. when I wasn't looking. It always confuses me. How weird is it that L.A. went from having both the Rams and the Raiders to a combined zero NFL teams?! Honestly, I'm a little worried about our guys being on their turf !

Because hate has no bye week

2011-10-09T17:08:00.001-04:00

The Official WHAT of the Cleveland Browns???

2011-09-27T15:53:00.009-04:00

This past Sunday, we listened to part of the game on the radio since we were on our way to Buckeye Lanes for our son's birthday party. (He's now officially a teenager - may the force be with me!) Between plays, I heard Jim Donovan make this announcement: "Heinz - The Official Ketchup of the Cleveland Browns." I protested immediately and was met with laughter in agreement from my family.

Ode to the Wampus Cat

2011-09-25T12:00:00.138-04:00

This season the Browns got a W in the win column much earlier than last year, which made Bitter Chick MC and the rest of us Browns fans feel much better. During the game we also learned of the existence of Peyton Hillis's high school mascot, from Conway High School in Arkansas, the Wampus Cat. The Wampus Cat is a fictional mascot, a six-legged cat with "Four to run at the speed of light

How Do You Spell Relief? B-R-O-W-N-S!!!

2011-09-19T16:46:00.008-04:00

Colt, Cribbs, Hillis - Oh, what a relief it is!Sorry Speedy, but I like my jingle better. And why wouldn't I? The Browns relieved my headache and upset stomach!Now you may be wondering how this could be possible. After all, most of the time watching our Brownies can GIVE us headaches. But it is true. I was up all night with with very bad stomach problems. I finally fell asleep around 7 AM and

The End of the Road to Nowhere..... ?

2011-09-17T21:34:00.011-04:00

Left: Guy on a treadmill at Fitworks. That's right. In jeans. I love my Browns clothes. Whether they were pricey or cheap, I treat them with a certain reverence. In fact, I'm far more obsessive about my bin of brown and orange gear than I am about my keeping my closet organized (and that's literally my job). I noticed a strange phenomenon this past season when I would go to the gym for my

2011 Cleveland Browns Twitter List

2011-09-04T21:28:00.004-04:00

* denotes verified account 2 Reggie Hodges @Reggie_Hodges 3 Jarrett Brown @JarrettBrownQB 10 Jordan Norwood @jordaNorwood 11 Mohamed Massaquoi @MoMass11 12 Colt McCoy @ColtMcCoy * 16 Josh Cribbs @joshcribbs16 * 18 Carlton Mitchell @C_Mitch18 * 20 Mike Adams @MDOTADAMS20 23 Joe Haden @joehaden23

A Bitter Cheerleader

2011-08-27T19:06:00.043-04:00

By Jenny Fickey